Sometimes the writing thing scares me. Sometimes things come out of my fingertips that make me wonder if I am who I really think I am. There are a couple of scenes that I’ve written for Legacies that have done that to me. Writing them was wrenching, because I really do adore the POV character who has to suffer through them. And suffer is most definitely the key word in that sentence. It scares me that my brain can actually create such stuff, that there might be that much darkness inside me. Putting that darkness into a character — giving him a name and a history and a reason for his twistedness — takes the edge off a bit. But only a bit, because I’m always acutely aware that, ultimately, I made him like that. And because, well, despite the fact that he’s the nastiest thing ever to crawl out of my head, I genuinely like him. (Or maybe I like him because he’s so nasty?)
The reason this is on my mind just now is because I’m thinking about writing a few scenes from the creepy antagonist’s POV. They may be necessary to tie the plot together in the right places. And I can’t decide if I’m excited at the idea of getting deeper into his head, or squicked out by it.