- The weight of her against the backs of my knees on a cool night
- Her complaints if the food bowl wasn’t filled within seconds of my rising in the morning.
- The warmth of her snuggled into the living room chair next to me.
- Her purr when I scritched that perfect spot, and the way she rolled her head into it.
- The sounds from the bedroom while Andy’s getting dressed of the two of them playing.
- The way she’d follow me into the bathroom as if to say “You’re not doing anything important while you’re sitting there : pet me.”
- Her snoring, which on a quiet day could be heard across the room.
- The “how could you be so thick” look she’d level at me if I didn’t do what she wanted.
The recent advent of WordPress 4.0 (“Benny”) had me looking at this site and the tech that drives it again, and it looks as though newer installations of WP are configuring their databases in a way that will actually accommodate non-English characters properly. So I’ve reinstalled in the hopes of finally getting my conlangs online.
Plus, now that the twins are toddlers, they’re spending more time playing on their own, so maybe I can squeeze the occasional blog post into my schedule again.
Now that I’m 21 weeks pregnant, I’m feeling that it’s time to go public with the fertiliy posts I’ve been keeping private for the last few months. So, all of a sudden there’s a bunch of “new” stuff here to read. They’re all under the Fertility category. Enjoy.
First ultrasound today, at 6 weeks and 2 days according to my RE, and we very clearly have TWO gestational sacs and TWO yolk sacs and TWO embryos and TWO happily flickering heart beats.
Gods help us. This is going to be one hell of a ride.
Wednesday’s beta came back with a whopping 1246, and Friday’s 2887. That means my doubling time is about 39.6 hours. A good, healthy rate.
My RE’s nurse (here) said that my progesterone, which tested at 8.7 on Wednesday was lower than they like (they prefer around 15), but it wasn’t cause for real concern. The Florida clinic also weren’t worried about it, and from poking around the web, it seems fairly common for women who take Crinone to test low on the blood draw but have higher levels in the uterus, where it’s actually needed.
Trying not to speculate on how high the betas are. My head will explode if my ultrasound on the 14th shows twins.
Tomorrow’s my first beta test, so of course I’m overanalyzing every little thing. I’m feeling a bit bloaty, and a bit moody, neither of which means a damned thing, but I keep wanting them to.
I’m also wondering now if, even if we get the BFP (big fat positive) we’re looking for, exactly what comes next. My RE here was cool with ordering my betas for me, as long as I’m planning on having her “follow” me from here on out, which would be ideal so that’s what I told her staff. But, really, I’m not sure how much of a hand the RE in Florida is going to want in my monitoring through the first trimester. After all, this is his success rate we’re dealing with, as well as my pregnancy. Well, I’m going with what I’d prefer as of now, since he never specified, and we’ll switch gears if we have to.
The specialty pharmacy I’m using for some of my meds sends out an email newsletter, and I’m a bit flummoxed by the one I got that’s full of tips on how to avoid other people’s children during the holidays.
I mean, I understand that seeing children can be a reminder that you don’t have any of your own. I do. I’ve been trying to get pregnant for over 7 years now, and when your teenage nephews are having kids while you can’t, it’s more than frustrating.
But I still want to hold other people’s babies. I still want to make faces at other people’s toddlers. I walk through the baby section when I’m in a department store and gush over the cute clothes and the bright toys. I have a (currently secret) Pinterest board filled with links to geeky baby things and ideas for decorating nurseries.
I don’t THINK I’m that much more optimistic than the others out there. I’m fully cognizant of the fact that it might not happen for us (though I think our odds are pretty good, all things considered). Maybe it’s that I’m older than the vast majority of them, and my life has been pretty darned alright so far without kids, so deep down I know that it won’t be the end of the universe if it doesn’t happen. Or maybe it’s that a lot of these potential parents grew up in the ‘instant gratification’ generation, and I’m afraid they may never have been taught how to handle disappointment or frustration, so running into something they can’t have just breaks them into bitty pieces.